


What Was Hidden

by Kisaaoi



Series: Nasvaraanan Na [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst Grief/Mourning, Childhood, Cole is a freaking sweetheart, Colemance, Elvhen, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I hate tags, I'll update the tags as I go, Loss of Parent(s), Other, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Regret, Serious feels, Solas is a father, Solas is an Egg, Sovellan Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisaaoi/pseuds/Kisaaoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion to my story What Remains. </p><p>Lavellan was left with more than a broken heart and missing arm after Solas left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist.

Throughout the halls of Skyhold, you could hear peals of laughter and joy. A tiny elf hid behind a barrel of apples in the store room, unable to stop her giggling. All of a sudden, two hands grabbed her from behind, causing the little girl to squeal. The hands lifted her high into the air.

“Gotcha! You can't hide from me, Elfy!” Sera smiled, holding the squirming little girl on her hip. “Your momma is back, and proly lookin' for you.”

“But I didn't win.” The little one said sadly. “I wanted a cookie.”

Sera simply laughed, reached into a pocket, and pulled out a small cookie. “There you go, you little nug. Just this once though, right? We gotta get you to be as sneaky as me so we stick it to the big hats!” The little girl just smiled as she bit into her cookie, crumbs falling down her front. Sera carried the little one back to the grand hall where Lavellan was waiting. She stopped when she saw her.

She was missing an arm.

And she looked broken beyond all repair.

Once she saw Sera with her daughter, she reached out for her with her one arm, a weak smile on her face.

“Da'vhenan! I missed you, sweetie!” Her words were strained, she was holding back tears. Sera was frozen, but the little girl was not. She wiggled out of Sera's arms and ran to her mother.

“Mama, are you alright?” she asked, tiny voice full of so much concern. She hugged her mother, unperturbed by her missing arm.

“He lobbed off your arm?!” Sera finally found her voice.

“Easy there, Buttercup.” Varric appeared at her elbow, face tense.

“He did it to help.” Lavellan tried to glare, but the sadness in her eyes diminished the full effect. 

Sera could barely contain her rage. “He lobbed off your arm, left you, BROKE YOUR HEART, AN' YOU STILL DEFEND HIM?!” She screamed at the end.

“Sera, the mark was killing her!” Varric glared at her. “Chuckles did the only thing he could to save her.”

“An' wot? Comin' back to help her raise his kid wouldn't help?!” She demanded. Lavellan winced as if Sera had physically struck her. Without a word, she picked up her daughter and retreated to her chambers, leaving her companions behind.

Sera felt terrible, but she never apologized. At least, not in a straightforward manner, but she almost felt like doing that. Lavellan was her friend, and her daughter was so cute, it was hard to not love her. The thought of either of them hurt made her angry, but hurting the asshat that hurt her friend would hurt them MORE. She didn't know what to do.

She growled, frustrated, kicking at the floor like a child. “I'm going to go dick with his stuff. Twat nugget, son of a...” she trailed off as she went to go find his old chambers. Varric guessed the most she would do is draw rude pictures on the walls. It would hurt Lavellan more if Sera ruined his things, and she knew that.

Lavellan still loved the man.

“Well, shit.” Varric ran a hand over his face. He was too old for all this emotional bullshit.

“That is a grave understatement, but I agree with Sera.” Cassandra spoke up, sounding tired. Varric looked at her in shock. “Solas, no matter what his plans may be, should have come back with her.” Her eyes hardened. “If I ever see him again, I'll introduce him to my sword. That is a promise.” She turned on her heal and left, leaving Varric flabbergasted. She had never willingly agreed with Sera or himself before, About anything.

“Well, Chuckles, if that's the case, I hope you stay far, far away. For your sake. And theirs.”


	2. Gravity

They never really out right told each other. They never had to.

But Danyla never outright realized it until he broke her mother's rule. 

Her mother was still trying to lead the Inquisition, but everyone in the Inner- Circle knew she was dying. Cullen and Cassandra mostly led it now, but still ran everything by the Inquisitor. She would smile and nod or suggest another option, but she hardly spent any time in the war room. Varric told Danyla tales from when the Inquisition was still new. If his wild tales were to be believed, her mother was lifeless in comparison.

And it was because of _him_.

She remembered the day her mother came home without an arm, saying her father had done it to save her. A few months later, she spoke about him briefly when she was telling her da'len about the murals her father had painted.

After that, she never spoke of him again. One day, she had even went so far as to forbid anyone to speak about him, saying it was for Danyla, but everyone knew it was because it was too painful for her to be reminded of him. To talk about him.

Years later, Danyla was sitting in the rotunda when he appeared. Her mother had it locked up once, when she feared Sera would ruin his paintings, but her daughter had learned to pick all the locks and dispel all the wards long ago. It became her hideaway. She could almost feel her father's presence there, and it was comforting.

“You miss him, long to see him, but you've never met him.” Cole stated, sitting beside me on the dusty couch.

“I imagine other children without one or both parents feel the same.” Cole looked at her then, face partially hidden beneath his ever present hat.

“You are not a child, anymore, Danyla.” He raised a finger pointing to her temple, but not touching. “You're different, but not in a bad way. _He_ was older than he looked, too.” Her head snapped around to him, eyes wide. He had never mentioned her father before! He shook his head. “Lavellan's hurt runs deep. I wanted to help, so I didn't.” He answered her thoughts. He then began to pick at his sleeves, nervously. “I want you to be happy. You smile when you think of him. I like when you smile.” He nearly whispered that last part, as if he was afraid to admit it.

She felt her ears and face redden with a blush and turned her head away. Suddenly, he perked up. “Follow me!” He smiled and walked out of the room, and she jumped up to follow. He led her down a couple of corridors before stopping in front of one of the rooms. The rooms were all chambers for guests and members of the Inquisition, but Danyla had never thought to go look in them before, even when she had been pranking the nobles when Sera had been around. 

Cole picked the lock and opened the door. The room had clearly not been touched in a long time, but there was a thrum of magic present, as if a mage had just been standing in the room a moment before the door opened. There were a ton of books on magic and the Fade on tables and bookshelves. She walked around and examined them, in awe. So much information! Her fingers itched to take them, but she refrained, not wanting to disturb someone else's-

“This was his room!” She gasped, spinning around to Cole, who just smiled and nodded.

The energy she was feeling, then.... that was _HIS_!!!! She beamed at Cole. She was so happy she almost felt like crying. This was as close to knowing her father as she had ever been. She hungered to know everything about the man. She wanted to know what parts of her came from him. Cole walked further into the room and knelt down by the bed, reaching under it and pulling something out.

Her breath caught in her throat.

She had learned every form of fighting from the Inner Circle. She knew how to fire a bow from Sera, take down someone with deadly accuracy with daggers from Cole, sword play from Cassandra and Cullen, and magic from her mother. But she never found any weapon she liked. Nothing had felt right to her.

Cole held out a staff to her. It was simple in design, but she still found herself in awe. “He made this before he knew Lavellan. She made him others but this one was his.”

“Is it....do you think he'd be alright with me.....?” She reached out, hands hovering just short of touching the handle. Cole closed this distance, taking a step closer to her, effectively pushing the staff into her hands. She felt energy zing down her spine at the contact.  
“It wants to be used. It liked him, and it likes you.” He ducked his head again, but not before Danyla caught sight of the pink staining his cheeks. It was then she realized their hands were touching. They had come into contact before, but not much and not very often.

“Warmth bubbles up from my core, pulse speeds under the touch, like the rhythm of a dance. _I don't want to let go._ ” 

“I-I'm sorry, I-” he looks up, face still pink, but with a confused look in his eyes.

It was then she realized it. 

Those were _his_ thoughts.

She was sure her face resembled a tomato, now. If Cole wasn't basically holding her hands right now, she probably would have fled. Reason seemed to fly out of her head, however, when he spoke next.

“Varric told me not to, the Inquisitor wouldn't like it, but...” Cole was leaning closer to her. “but I want...”

….

_Oh._

She smiled.

“That old man should keep out of other people's stories.” she whispered, closing the gap, throwing caution to the wind. 

They never said it out loud. They never had to.

It was almost like gravity. You didn't need to acknowledge it out loud to know it's there.

It just was, and maybe always had been.


	3. Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just don't like being happy, it seems.

The whole of Skyhold seemed gray and dark, as if the castle itself was in mourning. Danyla stayed by her mother's bed side, tears streaming down her face. 

The Inquisitor was dying. She had no strength left to fight, and no will left to try.

“Mama, don't leave me, please!” Her daughter begged, grasping her mother's limp hand. The woman in the bed was little more than a corpse. All vitality had drained from her body. No healer could help her. Dorian had come to visit when he could, tried to help her, but even he couldn't find a way to stop whatever was happening to her.

“I believe it may have something to do with the Mark.” he had theorized. “Before Solas removed her arm, it was causing her a great deal of pain. After he removed it, well, she started wasting away.”

There was nothing left to do but watch her die.

Lavellan looked at her daughter, love overtaking the pain they normally held. “Come here, da'lan.” Danyla crawled up into the bed and snuggled up to her mother as genitally as she could. “Ar lath ma, da'lan. I will always be with you. I promise.” Danyla's tears would not stop as she sobbed into her mother's side.

“I could go find him mama! Please let me-”

“No, Danyla.” her raspy voice still managed to sound stern. “He would've known to come help me by now. I'm sure his spies here have informed him of what's going on. He doesn't care about me, anymore.”

Danyla shook her head. “No, that's not true! Cole said he loved you so, so much! He almost gave up on his plans for you! Cole said he broke his own heart when he left! That kind of love doesn't just go away!” Lavellan shuddered, letting out a breath. "Please, Mama, he could help you!"

“I...I know.” her skeletal hand slowly threaded through her daughter's hair. There was a few moments of silence between them. “You are more like him than you know.” she admitted. “More like him than me, I think. I wish...” a tear leaked out from a eye. “I wish I could have had you both...”

Her hand in Danyla's hair stilled.

“Mama? MAMA!”

~*~*~*~*~

The funeral was a huge event because of course it was. Nobles and gentry from every part of Thedas came to pay their respects. 

Danyla hated all of them.

How could they stand there and proclaim what a tragedy it was when they all failed to help find the one man who could have helped? How could they stand there and say what a wonderful person she had been when they still called elves knife-ears and rabbits?

She would have stabbed someone if it hadn't been for Cole holding her hand the entire time. 

Most of the Inner Circle showed up. Bull with his group playing as an escort for Dorian. Sera and Dagna. Varric and his crossbow. Even Madame de Fer came. The Divine gave a sermon and Cassandra hugged Danyla for hours while the Commander tried to not cry and failed miserably.

When Lavellan was laid to rest and the nobles and big hats all left to their plush little homes, Danyla had made her decision.

“She's gone.” She spoke aloud when Cole appeared beside her on the battlements. “I'm alone, Cole. But...maybe _he_ is out there....I have to find him.” Cole's hand slid into hers, offering comfort. “Will you come with me? I want to leave before the Commander tries pulling me into the war room.”

Cole nodded. “I already have your things packed.” She turned and offered him a small smile.

“Where would I be without you?” She looked back out at the sunset. “Let's find him. Together.”


	4. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVERYONE IS OOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDD

If Danyla ever came across Sera again, she'd have to apologize for failing her. Despite how many 'lessons' she had given her during her childhood, she still wasn't sneaky enough to evade the spies in the Inquisition. The Divine, or Leliana as she was known before she left, still had a network of people in Skyhold.

 

For her protection, she was told.

 

“I cannot believe you were just going to leave!” Cassandra was livid. She paced back and forth in front of the young elven girl, steel gray hair shining in the light pouring through the windows. She had been brought to the war room by the spies that caught her trying to sneak out last night. “The Inquisitor's death-”

 

“That's all she was to you! The Inquisitor! The _leader_! The one to take charge and make decisions so you lot wouldn't have to!” Danyla shouted, angry. “I _will not_ take her place! I refuse! I already told you I do not want _slaves_!”

 

“Miss Lavellan, the people here... they are not slaves-” Josephine's tone was kind, but it did nothing to soothe the girl's temper.

 

“Slaves, soldiers, whats the difference? One gets paid a meager amount of coin and the other doesn't? That's not much of a difference to me! They would both have to bow at my command.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look. I know you all have been trying to groom me for this. I want no part of it. This is my life, and I plan to live it the way I see fit. If I for some reason manage to get a soul sucking rift stuck to my hand, you all will be the first to know.”

 

Cassandra had stopped pacing at her rant and held a hand to her forehead. “This is your home, Danny. Are you so willing to abandon it now?” Danyla gave a small smile at the nick-name.

 

“I'm not abandoning it, Aunt Cass. Or you guys. I just...”

 

“We know what you intend to do.” Cullen spoke up from a chair at the war table. He was no longer in charge of the troops, having retired, but he was counted as part of her family. He was completely white haired, some of it thinning on top. His eyes and face always seemed to hold a tired expression. “I cannot say I approve, but I understand.” He turned his eyes to Cass. “Let her go, Cassandra, it's her choice. She's grown enough-”

 

“She's still a child!”

 

“Like I was saying,” he gave her a glare, warning her from interrupting him again. “She's grown _enough_ to make her own decisions. Besides, she only looks like a child. She's 28 if I'm not mistaken.”

 

“31, Gramps.” Danyla corrected, her lips quirked at one side. “And that's why I need to go. I need to find out why I am this way.” Cassandra opened her mouth but Danyla cut her off. “I need to hear it from him.” There was a moment before Cassandra let out a sigh.

 

“Fine. You may go. Just...” she brought the young elf into a embrace. “Please return to us safely, or send word if you find.... what you're looking for.” Danyla hugged her back, nodding against her shoulder, “I will.”

 

After Danyla left the war room, there was a moment of silence between the advisers.

 

But only a moment.

 

“Wait. _Gramps_?” Cullen questioned.

 


	5. Daughter

Cole had brought her to the glen in Crestwood. It was so beautiful. So peaceful.

 

And so, so sad.

 

This is where her father broke her mother's heart. This is where he left her. Where he left them.

 

So many conflicting feelings fought for supremacy within her mind. Anger for the man who broke her mother's heart and left them to go on some personal quest to end the world. For not caring enough to heal her mother or to even find out how she was doing.

 

Sadness for all the time with him she missed. Would he have taught her magic? Would he have carried her on his shoulders when she was a child, like she had seen some father's do in the market? Would he have shown her how to mix the pigment and plaster he used to paint the rotunda in Skyhold?

 

Cole helped her pack up the tent. They had only been there a couple of days, but she couldn't stand to be there any longer, sitting still.

 

Once they were ready to go, she and Cole started down the road. They had no intended destination other than to just see where the road took them. She was beginning to wonder if she should just go home...

 

Suddenly, Cole grabbed her hand, pulling her to a stop.

 

“Cole? What is it?” She looked back at him. He gave her a wide, crooked smile, but said nothing. Usually, they didn't need to talk to know what the other was thinking, but right now she had no idea. Then, he turned to a copse of trees they had just passed. She followed his gaze to see an elven man stepping out from underneath the branches. He was tall and unusually broad shouldered for a elf. He had dark hair that fell to just past his collar bone, which was hidden beneath fine armor and a wolf pelt.

 

She felt on guard immediately, but refrained from grabbing her staff from it's holder on her back. The man was gazing at her with a soft expression.

 

“Declare yourself.” She spoke up in the commanding voice Cullen had taught her. The man's lips twitched into a half smile.

 

Then, he spoke.

 

_“Ma asha'lan”_

 

She swore her heart froze in her chest.

 

 

It was if time itself froze. She couldn't breathe. She had gone traveling for months to find any sign or remnant of him that she could, not really expecting to find him. Or he find her, as it seemed. She stood there, feet rooted to the ground.

 

His eyes...his hair...his nose....they were the same ones she had seen in the mirror her whole life. They were his!

So many words rushed to be spoken, only to get caught in her throat.

 

How did he find her? Where was he? Why was he here? Why did he leave? Why, Why, Why?

 

“Why?” it escaped from her in a whisper, sneaking past the other questions tangled in her throat. Before she knew what she was doing, she had whipped her staff from he back and began slinging fire and ice spells at him, screaming “Why?!” He didn't strike back, merely putting up a barrier to block the damage, soft expression melting into a sad one. He, nor Cole made a move to stop her. When she exhausted most of her mana, she ran at him. She pounded her fists on his chest, still asking why. He wrapped his arms around her, and it was only then she realized she was crying. She collapsed into his arms, returning the embrace.

 

So many complicated feelings welled up inside her. She was angry, happy, and sad all at once. She wasn't sure how to react. She had never really thought about how she would react to his presence.

 

“ _Ir abelas, ma'da'lan._ I will never leave you, again. I promise.” His voice was weak from tears; he was crying too.

 

In hindsight, Danyla thought it must've been quite a sight, but Cole assured her it was fine.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

A few weeks later, a letter arrived at Skyhold.

 

_To my family,_

_I am writing this letter to let you know I am fine. I found what I was looking for, or rather he found me. I am going to stay away for a while longer. I want to spend time with my father. I'm sure you understand. Cole is staying with us, as you might have guessed. I promise I'll return soon, but I am unsure if I'll stay or not._

_I am thankful for this chance. Give Gramps a hug for me._

_I'll see you all soon,_

_Danyla Lavellan_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i am unsure if I'm going to continue this or not, but here is the conclusion I had planned.
> 
> So, yeah. Tears all around. Hopefully, any future chapters I write will be happier. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Ar lath ma! 
> 
> -Kisa


End file.
